


until the sirens sound

by grapesoda



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: (but mild), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Blood and Violence, Gen, Hell, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapesoda/pseuds/grapesoda
Summary: “Welcome to hell,” The figure said, its voice low and flat. Kaneki blinked.“What?” He was dead one moment, alive the next, and now he was in hell of all places.“You have been granted the opportunity to return to your body. However, you must pass through the three gates of hell in order to escape.” ---EDITED & UPDATED: 08/21/18





	

**Author's Note:**

> i made a lot of edits to this fic and complied it into one chapter bc i thought it might be easier to read?  
> anyways the grammar is less of a mess now and some of the scenes are much improved!  
> enjoy!!

Air. He needed air. With a choked gasp, a gust rushed into his lungs. His heart pounded a steady rhythm in his chest. He was alive. The air was frigid, accented by wisps of burning incense, and the ground was rigidly flat beneath him. Kaneki slowly, cautiously opened his eyes; he wasn’t sure what he would find staring back at him.

Above was a white vaulted ceiling, the tallest peaks veiled in shadow. Kaneki pushed himself up with an arm. His head was full of cotton, his vision blurry, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment until it cleared. The room he found himself in was spacious, dark, and completely empty. Or so he thought, until he heard soft, sliding footsteps. A figure slipped out from the shadows, draped in black. Kaneki tensed. Even though his limbs were sore from disuse, he sat up straight and raised his arms, ready to defend himself.

“Welcome to hell,” the figure said, its voice low and flat.

Kaneki blinked. “What?” He was dead one moment, alive the next, and now he was in hell of all places.

“You are no longer among the living.” The figure’s face was wrapped in black fabric; just looking at it made Kaneki’s skin crawl. He could sense something staring back at him, something horrible under all that black. He watched the figure from the corner of his eye as he stood shakily. His leg felt like stretched rubber. He tried to swallow but his mouth was too dry.

“I,” Kaneki trailed off. He remembered dying quite clearly and painfully, but now he felt very much alive. “I am alive.”

“It may feel that way, but your physical body is completely deceased.” The figure gave a small nod. “Only your soul travelled to hell. That body is a simple projection.” Kaneki didn’t feel like a projection - his heart beat, his lungs expanded, and he could feel the ground beneath his feet. The figure kept talking. “You have been granted the opportunity to return to your body. However, you must pass through the three gates of hell in order to escape.” Kaneki resisted rolling his eyes.

The scenario sounded like something straight out of a bad horror novel. In fact, he was sure he had read the exact novel in question. But the figure was serious. It reached out, its robe cascading down to reveal bone white skin, knobbed and flaked. The figure extended a single finger, then its arm dropped like dead weight, drawing a perfectly straight line. The line ripped through the air and tore the fabric of the world with a noise like a scratchy scream. Inside the tear all Kaneki could see was darkness, heavy and undisturbed.

Before he could react, the figure was behind him. Its bony fingers curled around Kaneki’s shoulders like claws and Kaneki whipped around, his leg flung out and ready to kick. He didn't make contact. The figure was made of cloth and smoke, and roughly pushed him forward into the abyss. Kaneki lost his balance, falling into the darkness, his eyes wide with disbelief.

“Enjoy.” The figure’s voice echoed in Kaneki’s ears. He hit the ground hard, barely cushioned by his arms. His fingers dug into soil. Kaneki jerked back with a gasp. The air was thick and humid, heavy with the damp scent of moss and rot. Kaneki stood up and took a few steps. The soil squished under his bare toes. It took about ten minutes of wandering before he spotted a dim light in the distance, a paper lantern hung from a bamboo post. A few feet ahead was another, and another, and another, creating a trail that led on as far as Kaneki could see.

As he walked the ground became wetter, softer, and soon he waded through shallow water. Stems and leaves fleetingly brushed his ankles before being washed away. Kaneki wasn’t fazed by it - he continued steadily down the path, eyes never straying from the distant lights. He needed to find the gates and break through them. If there was a chance to live again, he needed to take it.

It was impossible to tell how long he had been walking, but considering the steadily growing ache in his feet, it must have been a while. Soon there wasn’t another lantern to follow. Instead he faced a large ornate house, held up from the water by solid wooden stilts. Two huge lanterns, each one easily five feet in height, hung on either side of the front door, their light reflected on the water. Tall trees crouched around the house, their branches reaching over and above like arms. From the branches hung hundreds of tiny while objects. Kaneki couldn’t identify them from a distance. He sloshed through the muck, which he could now see had the murky, greenish-brown quality of sewer water, toward the house.

This had to be the first gate. Kaneki reached the stilts of the house and found a set of wooden stairs, worn and rickety. He raised a foot cautiously and tested the first step. Despite their weathered appearance, the stairs held his weight fairly well. The only concern was how loud they were - the sharp creaks pierced the perfect silence of swamp in an eerie cacophony. At the top of the staircase was the front door, heavy and wooden like the rest of the house and carved with otherworldly symbols. He glanced around the house’s front porch, filled with an intense feeling of unease. It was then that his eyes caught the stark white objects hanging from the trees.

They were bones, clean and pale, the right size to be human. Ribs, femurs, shoulder blades, phalanges, and even vertebrate dangled in disassembled chunks. Kaneki took a deep breath curled his fingers around the elegant door knocker. He was about to knock when he heard sloshing water behind him.

Down below, Kaneki saw a man, about his age, struggling through the swamp water. He had honey brown hair with peeking dark roots and he quietly cursed as he leaned on the lantern post. The man wore a white t-shirt and jeans with a yellow and orange neon jacket wrapped around his waist. His eyes roamed up the silts of the house to the front door and when they landed on Kaneki he jumped back, nearly falling into the murky water. Kaneki stared silently and felt his shoulders slack. Clearly this guy wasn’t a threat.

“Are you the gatekeeper?” the man called.

“No.” Kaneki replied, brows furrowed. The man blinked, then his face split into a smile. He let go of the post and hopped up the stairs, energy effectively restored. Up close, Kaneki noticed faded freckles on his nose and cheeks and the stylish messiness of his long hair.

“I’m Hide," the man said. He extended a hand. Kaneki shook it tentatively.

“Kaneki.” Kaneki pulled back his hand and regarded Hide with narrowed eyes. He was lanky and his jeans were soaked to the knee from the swamp.

“The gatekeeper must be in there, then,” Hide said and gestured toward the door. Kaneki’s eyes flicked to the door, then back to Hide.

“What’s a gatekeeper,” Kaneki deadpanned. Hide scratched the back of his head.

“Didn’t that creepy robe guy tell you about the gatekeepers?” Hide asked.

“You saw that guy?” Kaneki's eyebrows raised. Hide nodded.

“Yeah. He spouted some crap about being thrown into hell,” Hide shrugged. “But said I had a chance to get out if I got past three gates.”

Kaneki nodded. The figure had told him the same thing.

"So I asked him how to pass the gates and he said I had to challenge the ‘gatekeepers.’” Hide held up his hands in exaggerated air quotes. The ends of Kaneki’s mouth dropped into a tiny frown.

“Did he really not tell you that?” Hide asked, surprised.

“No. He wasn’t very talkative,” Kaneki said, unconsciously clenching his fist, the memory of being pushed into to the darkness still vivid. Then, his shoulders slumped. “Also, I didn’t really ask.”

Hide laughed. “This guy came up to you, told you you’re in hell, said the only way to escape was to get past three gates, and you just went with it?”

“Well, when you put it that way,” Kaneki muttered, ducking his head to hide an embarrassed smile.

He turned back to the door. Before he could knock, it slowly creaked open to reveal a spacious foyer, lit only by the cracks in the ceiling. There wasn’t much furniture save for a dining table made of cheap wood. Flecks of soot drifted in the air like ancient, lifeless fairy dust.

“What’s with this?” Hide walked over to the table and leaned down to examine it. There was a plate at the head coated in a thin layer of dust and to the left was a rusted fork, its prongs bent and disfigured. Before Kaneki could reply, the door slammed loudly behind them. Hide jumped about a foot in the air and Kaneki spun around, muscles tensed.

A woman stood in front of the closed door. Her wispy amethyst hair rested on her shoulders like a curled cobra and red, thick-rimmed glasses hung low on her nose. Her crystal cut eyes, the same hue as her hair, searched both men with great intensity. Kaneki would’ve called her beautiful if not for the wicked smile on her face. It stretched too wide across her pale cheeks, like a crack in a priceless china vase.

“Kaneki. How lovely to see you again.” Her voice was lilting and musical, a siren’s call to certain death.

“Rize.” Kaneki’s left eye flooded with black and red; he cracked a single knuckle. Smooth, red limbs creeped out from behind Rize. They were fluid yet completely solid, each one writhing about. There were four in total.

Kaneki glanced back at Hide, his mind racing. He knew within seconds of their meeting that Hide was human, vulnerable and weak. Only Kaneki stood between him and total slaughter. While Kaneki’s eyes were turned away, Rize’s kagune wrapped around his ankle and violently jerked him to the ground. As he slid across the ground toward Rize, Kaneki released his own kagune, sharpening them into spears and immediately aiming for Rize’s stomach. They pierced through her cleanly, all four of them, and a spurt of blood spilled from Rize’s lips, staining her skin. Her kagune unravelled from Kaneki’s ankle and he flipped to his feet.

“Duck, Kaneki!” Hide yelled. Without thought, Kaneki threw his head down with enough force to make his neck crack and a gust of air blew over him. Kaneki heard a crash and looked up. It was the dinner plate, which Hide had thrown like a frisbee, shattered into deadly shards, many of which sliced into Rize’s nose, cheeks, and eyes. Rize cried out, blood running down her face like tears. Kaneki surged forward and swept the ground with his leg, toppling Rize over. As she fell, her kagune stabbed out into space, almost chopping off Kaneki’s head. Kaneki swivelled out of the way, a few stray hairs away from death. He pinned her to the ground by the neck, eyes narrowed.

“Taken down," Rize gasped. "By my own kagune." Her eyes stared at the ceiling. Kaneki didn’t give her time to say more and cleanly broke her neck with a flick of his wrist. Once she was dead, her body crumbled into dust, leaving behind a pair of red-rimmed glasses.

Kaneki wiped the ash from his knees. Hide walked over to his side.

“Well, the first gatekeeper wasn’t too bad. Even though I did most of the work." Hide ran a hand through his hair and grinned.

Kaneki looked up at him with a small smile. “I guess you did help, a bit,” he replied.

“Well, I need to make myself useful somehow. I’m merely human after all.”

Kaneki eyed Hide hesitantly. He must have realized that Kaneki wasn’t human. “And I'm a ghoul.” Kaneki bit hard into his lower lip. Hide crouched down next to him, rubbing a bit of ash between his fingers.

“I mean, you have kagune,” Hide replied.

Kaneki flinched almost imperceptibly. He hadn’t expected Hide to say it so forwardly. There was a pause.

"Wait." Hide turned to face Kaneki in full. "Do you think I care about stuff like that?"

Kaneki shrugged in an attempt to pretend that the most important thing in the world didn't matter. "Doesn't everyone?"

Hide's brows pushed together. “How shallow do you think I am?” There was something pained in his voice. It made Kaneki drag his eyes up to meet Hide's, and when they did, he nearly fell back. Hide's eyes were solid gold, lips pressed into a hard line. Kaneki swallowed heavily before speaking.

"You aren't." Kaneki's chest was filled with a sudden tightness; after a moment he realized it was happiness. It was a rare occasion for a ghoul and a human to get along, for the ghoul to see more than food and the human to see more than a savage predator.

“Anyway,” Hide reached for the glasses. “What’re these?” The moment his fingertips brushed the plastic rims, the world went black. Kaneki tensed. Then, they were faced with a completely different scene.

 

* * *

 

When the blackness cleared, the first thing Kaneki sensed was a change in the air. The muggy swamp was gone and a chilly mist replaced it. It had a certain stale quality to it, creating the overall feeling of being stuffed into a refrigerator. Kaneki stood up, wobbling a bit as he did. A stone-paved path spiraled out from where he and Hide stood. It curved around in a wide arc and disappeared behind a tall emerald plant with wide, arched fronds. There were plants everywhere, some sprouting from the soil and others secured in dusty clay pots.

“This looks like a greenhouse,” Hide said, bent over one of the pots. Kaneki nodded. So far nothing appeared suspicious, but then again, this was only the beginning.

“The gate is probably at the end of this path,” Kaneki said, hands shoved in his pockets.

“They sure do make it easy for us.” Hide began wandering down the path. Kaneki followed, occasionally scrutinizing the lush plants out of the corner of his eye. Up above, the sky was marked with interlocking triangles. Hide was right - they were inside a glass encased greenhouse. It made Kaneki shiver. The stark window panes looked too much like bars of a cage. He hurried ahead to Hide’s side. As they became more and more tangled in the leafy labyrinth, the scent of rot grew stronger. Kaneki recognized it immediately as decaying flesh.

“It smells nasty in here.” Hide scrunched his nose, stopping cold. Kaneki turned back, face perfectly serious.

“Don’t breathe then.”

“Don’t breathe?” Hide gasped sharply. “Some of us need to breathe, Kaneki. To live.” He shook his head, face comically serious. Kaneki stifled a laugh. “We can’t all be superhuman like you.” Hide avoided Kaneki’s good-natured swing in one smooth step, chuckling. His foot strayed off the path and whacked against a pot huddled nearby. It toppled over and crashed, soil spilling everywhere.

“Nice,” Kaneki deadpanned. Hide cursed quietly and bent down to inspect the damage, then let out a whispered ‘Oh!’ He held a pair of silver pliers, encrusted in dirt. The sight of them sent shock waves through Kaneki’s body. He felt cold, prickling numbness in his fingertips.

“Do you think I could stand up to a gatekeeper with these?” Hide asked with a smirk. He held them up for Kaneki to see, but Kaneki flinched back, his entire body shaking. “Kaneki?” Hide tilted his head to the side. “You alright man?”

“Yeah. Put those down.” Kaneki closed his eyes and pressed a hand to his forehead. After taking a deep breath, he felt the numbness fade. He heard Hide drop the pliers with a dull clank. Kaneki continued down the path, not turning back.

As he walked, Kaneki began to notice that everything was starting to die. The plants had withered brown leaves, shards from shattered pots were littered around, and various tools were tossed among the dirt: pliers, drills, scalpels, and hammers. It reminded him of a different memory, in a much darker place. At one point, Kaneki could’ve sworn he felt something tickle his shoulder, brush past the curve of his ear. Something with many legs. Kaneki shook his head violently, scraping his fingers past his ear to confirm nothing was there.

They trudged on, the circle of the labyrinth gradually growing smaller and tighter. The smell of rot was so pungent that Kaneki could barely breathe. Hide had the collar of his shirt pulled over his nose to stifle it. Severed bits - arms, legs, fingers, toes - replaced the plants, sticking straight out of the ground, as if planted there by a murderous gardener. They had been there some time, encrusted with blood and black rot. Hide choked at the sight, but Kaneki's eyes passed over them without interest. The smell burned his nostrils and seeped into his brain. Reality was becoming harder and harder to place. His mind dragged him back into memory, into the torture chambor of Jason.

Kaneki thought of the numbers, muttered them under his breath. It gave him something to focus on. Yet he felt himself slipping into darkness, unable to resist. He heard a crunching, grinding noise, like bones being mashed together. It intensified when they reached a stone arch raised over the path, engraved in symbols similar to those on Rize’s door.

“This is the gate, Kaneki,” Hide said. Kaneki continued walking. The remainder of the path led to the heart of the greenhouse, where the deadened brown palms sat clumped together, severed hands clutched around their trunks. The grinding sound was even louder, grating on Kaneki’s ears. They had reached the gatekeeper.

Curled in the dirt, shaded by decayed leaves, was a huge man. Even in his seated position he loomed over Hide and Kaneki. The man’s arms bulged in his clean white suit and his shoulders were as wide as a bed frame. When Hide and Kaneki were about a foot away, the man turned slowly. He had a flat face, with a broad nose like a slab of meat and tiny beetle eyes. Yamori. Kaneki cried out and fell to his knees, grinding the heels of his hands into his eye sockets.

Not him. It couldn't be him.

“Kaneki?” Hide knelt down and rested a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder. Kaneki’s entire body shook. It took all his restraint not to shove Hide away. Sounds echoed in his ears: Yamori's voice, the snapping of bones, a child sobbing. Yamori, let out a heavy, gravelly laugh and stood up to his full height. His accompanying grin revealed a thick bone wedged between his teeth.

“Kaneki, let’s play,” Yamori said. His voice was chilling. While it contained a throaty roughness, it was unnaturally melodic, as if he was once charming. Kaneki froze. There was something off about the voice. It wasn't as he remembered. He jerked his head up, ready to face Yamori, long dormant anger beginning to spark. 

Kaneki cracked a knuckle. “I’m not surprised you’re in hell, Yamori.”

Yamori's kagune wrapped around his form, wicked and spiked, the opposite of Rize’s fluid, lithe limbs. Kaneki released his kagune as well, and as it ripped from his skin Hide shifted out of the way. Kaneki’s head whipped to the side and roughly shrugged Hide off of his shoulder. Hide staggered back, almost falling. Kaneki couldn't worry about him; in order to defeat Yamori, he needed every last drop of focus.

Yamori’s kagune ripped forward, but Kaneki spun out of the way, transferred his weight to his toes, and kicked off into the air. He brought his knee up like a blunt javelin and smashed directly into Yamori’s nose. There was a sharp crack of bone. Yamori brought a massive arm up and slapped Kaneki away like a bothersome fly. Kaneki crumpled among the broken pots and dismembered limbs, several shards burying themselves in his skin. He pulled them out unflinchingly and looked up to see Yamori’s kagune coming right at him. Kaneki rolled to the side and grabbed a fairly intact pot, whipped it into the air. He heard it crash against Yamori’s stone flesh, not causing damage but providing a moment for Kaneki to regain his footing. It continued on like that, Kaneki darting out of the way and Yamori relentlessly attacking. After dodging a particularly heavy-handed blow, Kaneki detected a slight movement on Yamori’s shoulder. It was thick, shiny, and writhing, with about a hundred legs. A centipede.

Kaneki tripped, his kagune suspended in the air. Yamori’s mouth tugged into a lopsided grin. He plucked the centipede from his shoulder. Its legs fluttered and flickered in the air.

“Do you remember this, Kaneki?” Yamori taunted. Kaneki retreated back. He saw a black and white floor, slick with blood and sweat, anguish and suffering. He saw a centipede growing closer and closer, brushing the inner corners of his ear. He felt icy pliers clamped on his toes, pressing and twisting his muscles and bones. Kaneki groaned, his hand pressed to his forehead, and his kagune started to change. Before it looked like Rize’s, smooth and fluid but sharp as a butcher's knife. Now it hardened and convulsed, curling in on itself, then shooting out like pronged spears. The end result looked exactly like the centipede hanging from Yamori’s fingers.

Kaneki’s eyes were sharp and blazing, his mouth sliced into a terrifying smirk. The centipede kagune ripped forward and wound itself tightly around Yamori’s extended arm; Kaneki jerked his head to the side and his kagune mirrored him, tearing Yamori’s arm clean off. The limb flew over Hide’s head and crashed into the distant greenery, flinging clumped black blood as it went. Yamori stumbled forward, ready to swing, but Kaneki was in the air once more. His fingers curled around Yamori’s shoulders and his kagune wrapped around Yamori’s barreling torso. With a single flip, he pulled Yamori down to the ground with an echoing thump. Kaneki planted his feet on either side of Yamori’s shoulders and stabbed deep into his back, relentless. Streaks of blood splattered onto the stone tiles. The sound was horrible and squelching; it didn’t take long for Yamori to stop moving, and once he was still his body crumbed to dust. Kaneki’s kagune pounded into the stone several more times before he realized Yamori was no longer there.

Hide stepped forward slowly. Kaneki’s kagune was spread out on the ground, the ‘legs’ of the centipede pointed upward. While it laid immobile, Kaneki himself collapsed to his knees and curled in on himself, forehead resting on the cool stone. With Yamori gone, the horrible memories began to fade. Hide placed a hand on his back, running it up to brush through Kaneki’s frosty white hair.

Kaneki lifted his head. Upon seeing Hide, he dropped his head once more. Hide was here, right next to him. The fight was over. There was a long stretch of silence as Kaneki waited for his mind to quiet down.

“It must be pretty annoying to keep up this bleached style you got going on,” Hide said, letting the shocking white strands slip through his fingers.

Kaneki tried to remember how to speak normally. “It’s natural,” he croaked.

“What? No way. You probably dyed it to look cool.” Hide had one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

“I've never dyed my hair,” Kaneki mumbled into the stone floor.

“C’mon, stop messing with me,” Hide complained. “That much bleach can damage your hair, you know.”

Kaneki turned his head, glaring at Hide, but it held no real malice. “It’s real.” He swatted Hide’s hand away from his head.

“What kind of fool do you take me for?” Hide huffed, arms crossed. Kaneki fully lifted his head, corners of his mouth tilted downward.

“Hide.” Kaneki eyed the tuft of dark hair on top of Hide’s head. “You can’t lecture me when your own hair is dyed.”

Hide scrambled to cover his roots with his hand. “Well, um,” Hide fumbled for a response and Kaneki laughed softly. Hide smiled. The shift struck Kaneki’s heart. He must’ve worried Hide terribly, lost in a nightmarish maze of the past.

“When I was alive,” Kaneki whispered. He wasn’t sure if he could explain what happened to him, but he owed Hide an explanation, no matter how painful. “Yamori, he,” Kaneki’s mouth twisted, a crease forming in his brow. He couldn't do it. The memories were still too fresh, a wound that kept being ripped open, never allowed to heal. Hide patted his shoulder.

“You don’t have to explain it. I could tell that guy was messed up.” Hide said. Kaneki blinked, gray eyes round. Hide constantly surprised him with his kindness, casually accepting Kaneki’s strange existence as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Kaneki tried to arrange his mouth into a smile, but it didn’t quite work. He was simply too exhausted. Instead, he leaned over and rested his forehead on Hide’s shoulder, letting out a broken sigh. “I'm so tired, Hide.” His eyes fluttered closed. Kaneki felt the pressure of Hide gently resting his cheek on Kaneki's hair.

 

It was a long time before Kaneki stirred. He sat up, a bit disoriented. Hide rose as well, mumbling something about ' _five more minutes...'_ Kaneki quickly turned away from him. He had a terrible feeling that looking into those sunny eyes would make his cheeks burn. He wasn't sure how Hide managed to learn his darkest, most locked away secrets without even trying, but regardless he felt extremely exposed. Hide knew the worst.

"Feel a little better?" Hide asked with a yawn. "You don't have to shoulder all of this alone, you know."

Kaneki still had his back to Hide. Those words sounded familiar to him, as if he had heard them many times before. But they were wrong.

"I know." Kaneki stared at his hands curled in his lap. "But I couldn't live with myself if someone suffered because of me."

Hide breathed in sharply. Kaneki expected another cheerful, uplifting line, but nothing came. He moved to see Hide's expression.

"I know," Hide said, quietly, lips barely moving. His eyes were trained upward at the caged sky. "I couldn't either."

Kaneki reached out a hand, unsure. It settled on Hide's upper arm, then slipped down to hold his wrist. "You're strong Hide." He squeezed Hide's wrist. "We're almost done. One more gate."

Hide nodded. "Right. One more gate." He stood up and his wrist slipped from Kaneki's fingers.

Kaneki watched him, unblinking. Hide sifted through the sand, the remains of Yamori, and uncovered a single cuff link, shiny and black. The second he had it between his fingers, the world faded to black. Then, they were on a beach, waves crashing rhythmically in the distance.

 

* * *

 

Kaneki stared down the gray-black beach. The sand was black like coal, rugged and coarse, and the sky was coated in clouds. Not a single ray of sunlight broke through. The waves, with nothing to make them shimmer, crashed quietly in the background, almost invisible.

“This is it,” Hide said as he wiped sand from his jeans. “The last gate.”

“We can finally get out of here.” Kaneki's lips tugged into a faint smile. He was anxious to return to the living - he had so many things to protect. Touka, the manager, Hinami, all of them. A wave of worry broke over him. He wasn’t sure how long he had been in hell. It could’ve been hours, or days, or even weeks. Did time flow the same in hell as it did on earth? What was everyone doing now? He remembered telling them to stay behind, that he could to protect Anteiku alone. Kaneki flinched. His head began to ache fiercely, as if a spike was being driven deep into his temple. 

“Kaneki?” Hide’s voice was rich with worry. “Are you alright?” Kaneki straightened and turned to Hide with a pained expression. He could sense it, a gaping hole in his memory.

“I can’t remember,” Kaneki cleared his throat. “How I died.” His head pounded. The salty air stung his nostrils. He met Hide’s eyes. “What about you? Do you remember how you died?” Hide’s eyes darted to the side. Kaneki’s stomach dropped.

“I." Hide scratched his cheek. “I remember a little bit.” He shrugged, shoulders loosening. “The gory details.” Hide grinned. Kaneki gave him a hard look, not appreciating the word play. “I remember most of it, okay?” Hide slid his features into seriousness. “Don't worry about it. You'll remember eventually.”

Kaneki wasn’t convinced. He could feel the sharp edges of the memory lurking in the corners of his mind. The throbbing in his temple shifted behind his eye socket. “Can I ask,” Kaneki trailed off, unsure if he was crossing the line. “How did you die, Hide?”

Hide’s coffee eyebrows bunched together above his eyes, and his lips pressed together in a deep frown. It was so unprecedented, so sorrowful, that Kaneki's breath caught. Hide spoke slowly, thought packed into each word. “Could I tell you later? I don’t think I’m ready to relive it now.” Kaneki, shocked into silence, could only nod stiffly. It was possible that Hide died tragically, he was human after all; death came easier to them. It was fine if he didn’t want to talk about it. Hide always listened and accepted Kaneki, never pushing him too far. Kaneki wanted to do the same. He let it drop.

They walked down the beach side by side. The only sounds were the rhythmic crashing of waves and the light breeze whispering past. The water was perfectly clear, smoothing over the black sand like a ghost. Not even froth could disturb it. It was unnatural, a rousing reminder of where they were. 

“Hey, Kaneki.” Hide nudged his arm. “You see that?” Hide jerked his chin toward a structure up ahead. It was tiny and simple, just driftwood carved and hammered into shape. Kaneki squinted, trying to discern what exactly it was.

There was someone standing inside. A girl. Kaneki’s eyes grew impossibly wide. He knew that face. He jogged up to the structure. It really was her - Touka.

“Touka!” Kaneki called. He was both relieved and unsettled by her presence. She was here, but that meant she was dead. The thought sent shivers of dread down Kaneki's spine. Still, he stepped up onto the hardwood platform. A long bar top ran across it, made of the same light driftwood, counter cleanly polished. There were several barstools as well, organic and branching like coral.

Touka stood behind the bar, wiping a mug with a worn rag. Behind her were several towering shelves, packed with various coffee mugs, tins, and porcelain pitchers of cream and sugar. It was a like a tiny chunk of Anteiku, pried straight from the shop and stuck on the beach. Touka herself was exactly as Kaneki remembered. Her short hair hung in wind-swept lavender tangles and her eyes shone bright and strong.

“I’m not Touka,” she said. Kaneki blinked. “I’m just an attendant. This is the halfway point.” Her voice sounded like Touka’s: sharp, accented, but with a certain, feminine highness.

“What?” Kaneki asked, a bit lost. The attendant tilted her head, mouth falling open in a clueless expression Touka would never, ever adopt.

“You’re halfway to the final gatekeeper! He's been waiting for you.” She paused, considering. “For a while, let’s say that.”

“Where’s Touka?” Kaneki asked, weary. He didn’t care much about the third gatekeeper at the moment.

“Among the living, probably!” The attendant shrugged. “This is just a form I took from your memories.” She giggled. Kaneki’s patience dwindled, his hands in tight fists. Before he could raise them, a hand came to rest on his shoulder.

“Who's this, Kaneki?” Hide asked, eyes glittering. “An angel?”

The attendant flushed and Kaneki rolled his eyes, turning to look at Hide.

“Nobody,” Kaneki said. The attendant sniffed, offended. “Let’s go.”

“Wait!” The attendant lurched forward, her hands clutching the edge of the counter. “You haven’t had any coffee!”

Hide glanced at her, then at Kaneki. He broke into a smile, eyes crinkling in the corners, and Kaneki suppressed a groan.

“You know what? I could go for a cup.” Hide slid onto a barstool. Reluctantly, Kaneki sat next to him. The attendant sparkled with delight.

“My first visitors in five hundred years!” She set down two mugs steaming with hot coffee, conjured from the air. “I’ve never had two before.”

“What does that mean?” Kaneki asked, sipping from his mug. The coffee was rich and bold, delicious. Still, it wasn’t the same as Anteiku’s, which only made Kaneki miss it more.

“Usually it’s only one person passing through the gates,” She took to polishing another mug. “How does that work, then? With the gatekeepers.” She cocked her head to the side, hair falling like water.

“Kaneki’s been taking care of them.” Hide said with a light laugh. The attendant shook her head rapidly.

“No, no, who do the gatekeepers take after? Whose memories?”

“Memories?” Kaneki asked. The gatekeepers had looked like people from Kaneki’s past, people he hoped he would never see again. But they were much weaker. Or maybe he just knew how to defeat them, having done it once before.

“The gatekeepers take the form of someone from your memories - someone that impacted your life.” The attendant set down her mug. “Did you not know?”

Kaneki shook his head. Rize, who lured him straight into the ghoul world, and Yamori, who broke him down and rebuilt him, forced him to acknowledge that he was ghoul. They definitely had impacted him, even it was for the worse. But what about Hide?

“None of them were from your memories, Hide,” Kaneki said, frowning. “They were all from mine.”

“That's weird.” Hide let out a halting laugh. It sounded off, forced. 

“The point is to face the worst things of your life, though,” The attendant placed a finger at her plush lips. “By defeating them, you earn a second chance.” Her gaze went to Hide, razor sharp. For the first time, she truly resembled Touka. “What have you done to earn yours?”

Hide flinched back. Kaneki considered. Hide hadn’t helped too much in the fights, besides throwing that plate at Rize, but he helped in other ways. He put Kaneki at ease, motivated him to keep going.

“Hide did a lot.” Kaneki said quietly. "He didn't have to fight people to help." Two pairs of eyes fell on him. He could feel the rays of sunlight emitting from Hide, but didn’t dare look up. Instead he took a heavy swig of coffee, draining the mug. “I’m done here.” Kaneki hopped off his stool and began walking down the beach. He heard Hide slurp down his coffee and set it down with a porcelain clatter.

“Thanks!” Hide called to the attendant, then ran to Kaneki’s side. Kaneki eyed Hide.

“Don’t say anything,” Kaneki warned. Hide chuckled.

“What? I have nothing to say to you,” Hide replied and focused his gaze on the beach ahead, a serious expression pasted onto his face. Still, Kaneki could feel those infectious sunbeams threatening to break through. They walked on. 

Kaneki searched the horizon for any sign of a gate, but found none. He gave up after while and instead watched the tides. They were mesmerizing, constantly crashing, retreating, and crashing once more, their watery fingers stretching high on the black sand. The air was salty and surprisingly arid for a beach. There was a chafing dry heat about it, one that made Kaneki want to wade into the waves and cool off. He drifted toward the water’s edge. Once he was close enough, he let the water rush over his feet and ankles. The moment it met his skin, he let out a gasp.

It was like a light switch flicked on. Dark to light; empty gray to rough stone. A crumbling castle turret appeared out on the waves. It was once tall, stretched out to the heavens, but now the top was completely torn off, leaving jagged stones at various heights. The entrance was a simple archway, pointed at the top and doorless. Kaneki turned back to Hide, who was standing in the sand a few feet from the waves.

“Do you see it?” Kaneki asked. Hide’s eyebrows shot up.

“See what?” Hide asked, stepping over to the water’s edge. Kaneki waited for the waves to reach him and reveal the castle. When they did, Hide gasped. “That must be the last gate,” he observed.

Kaneki nodded and waded into the water. It was so clear that he could see straight to the bottom without interruption. The ridged sand below was a bright, pure white. Hide followed behind with a few complaints.

“Wet jeans are gross, man. Denim’s just not meant for water.”

Kaneki ignored him.

The castle wasn’t too far out. When Kaneki stood in front of it, the water barely reached above his knees. Stone stairs rose out from the waves and up to a thick platform that the turret rested on. Barnacles and algae clung to both; they danced with the tide as if sentient. Above the archway was the now familiar string of symbols. They were organic and weblike, fluid. The language of hell. Kaneki strode up the stairs and into the castle, Hide on his heels. Light flowed in through the open roof. There were holes busted in the walls and loose stone bricks scattered about. Everything was crusted in brine. Directly across from the entrance, against the far wall, was a throne on a raised dais. It appeared to rise seamlessly from the stone, veined with milky marble.

Seated in the throne was man. He wore a long, trailing white coat, buckled across the chest, nearly reaching his ankles. His eyes were closed, head rested on his hand, a sleeping god. As if he sensed their presence, the man’s eyes slowly slid open to reveal inky black pupils. They pierced directly into Kaneki. His breath and heart stuttered in sync. Splitting pain erupted in his head. His dormant memories viciously ripped forward, their sharp edges impaling his brain. Dark images blotted his vision.

 

It was pouring rain. Lightning occasionally cracked the sky with blinding light, but otherwise the world was black.

There was a hole in his side, wide and gaping. It hurt, it clawed, it burned, it wasn’t healing. He tried to ignore it. He had to continue. He couldn’t fail now. He was so close to saving everyone.

The rain made him shiver. He pulled himself along the ground, blood smearing underneath him. His thoughts smeared too. They jumbled in his mind, churning together into a chunky brown mush. Eat, heal, kill, protect. Eat, heal, kill, protect. Eat, heal, kill, eat. Eat more, kill more, kill them all. Kill, kill, kill. 

Darkness. A manhole. It reeked. Blood trailed down his leg like a centipede.

He was inside the sewer, safe from doves. The walls curved around him like a shell, protecting him. No, he was protecting everyone. He had to keep going. Focus. Eat, heal, kill, protect. His vision blurred. His side scorched like it was aflame.

Heal. Eat to heal. Teeth buried into his bicep. Yamori was eating him. Get off. Get off _now._ The concrete wall slammed into his arm. Yamori was gone. He would not be eaten. Eat, heal, kill, protect. Eat, heal, kill protect. Eat heal kill protect eat heal kill protect eat he-

“Yo,”

It was...Hide? But he didn’t know Hide yet. It was a man, with hair like gold. He was in CCG armor, black and plated. Very un-dove-like. Kaneki could eat a dove. He loved roasted bird. The human kept talking. Kaneki couldn’t hear. His ears were ringing. Eat the human, heal his wound, kill more doves. Kill the human.

“Do it now.” Yamori commanded.

“What are you waiting for?” Rize teased. Her hair was like jewelled asps. Kaneki stepped forward. Or, he sludged forward. He couldn’t feel his legs. He reached for the human, his hand stretched out in front of him like a phantom limb.

“I saw your fight with Amon. You held up pretty well. I was impressed,” Hide said, running a hand through his hair. “But I saw what he did to you. That’s a nasty wound.” Hide stepped closer. Kaneki’s hand went right through him. He blinked. No, it went past his head. He missed.

“Idiot.” Yamori cursed. Kaneki growled at him. Eat the human. Heal his wound. He shifted and clutched the human’s shoulder. He was steady. His kagune crept out behind him, reaching forward like starved arms.

“I want to help you,” the human said simply. “There’s only one way out of here and right now, you’ll never make it.” He allowed Kaneki’s hand to stay. “You need to fight with all you’ve got, okay?” The human was so close, Kaneki could see the freckles dotted along his cheekbones. They were barely there, like a faded map of stars.  

Kaneki shuddered. He felt a strange surging in his veins. The human didn't seem to notice. He tilted his head to the side and offered his neck, a smooth stretch of skin. Rize pushed Kaneki forward, her nails digging into his back.

“He’s wide open! Eat him!” Rize was gleeful. The human smelled like hamburg steak. Eat, heal, kill, protect. Kaneki closed his eyes and took a bite.

 

His wound was healed. His thoughts were structured. He journeyed deeper into the sewer. It still reeked. On the wall, carved deep into the concrete, was ‘V14.’ Kaneki ran his tongue over his canines, catching the last traces of blood. It was sweet as sugar.

The walls of the sewer widened out into a massive space littered with bodies, both ghoul and dove. Kaneki stared. He had never seen so much death in one place. Standing over it all like a king was a man in a sweeping white coat. Arima Kishou. The reaper of the CCG.

The rest was a blur of blood and suffering. Kaneki tried his hardest - he really did, for Anteiku, for Hide. However, in the end, Arima stood over him, quinque stabbed through Kaneki’s eye, through his brain, through the smooth bone of his skull. Arima’s eyes were dead, dead like those around them, but at the very end, they sparked. Just for a moment, a flash Kaneki missed the first time. It was too late for that, though. Kaneki was dead.

 

“You’re good.” Arima’s flat voice, with just the slightest hint of surprise, rung in Kaneki’s ears. He found himself curled on the ground, staring at stone. His eyes flew forward to see Arima’s shoes, legs, coat, neck, face. Those eyes. They were bottomless black, bottomless suffering. Kaneki jerked back, a cry escaping from his lips. He bumped directly into Hide, who was bent down behind him. Kaneki looked up at him with equal horror. He knew how Hide had died.

Kaneki ate him. Ate him alive. 

“What is it?” Hide’s hands clenched Kaneki’s shoulders. “Did you remember something?” The touch sent shivers down Kaneki’s body. Kaneki wretched away from him, skitting across the floor. Arima did nothing.

“Hide, I.” Kaneki’s breaths came out ragged. “I ate you.” Just saying it wracked Kaneki’s body with tremors. He clutched his head in his hands. Hide approached him cautiously.

“No, Kaneki, I wanted to help you.” Hide’s eyes were spiked with sorrow, loneliness, pain. “I always wanted to help you.” His hand was inches from Kaneki’s back. Kaneki whipped his head around, kakugan flashing.

“Get away,” Kaneki said coldly. He didn’t want to hurt Hide again. Hide was the only human to ever accept him. The only human who would ever accept him. Hide recoiled, but continued speaking.

“When I was alive, I worked for the CCG, as an investigator’s assistant. It was a desk job, not cool at all.” Hide sighed heavily. “And you were the top case, the eyepatch ghoul. You came out of nowhere, incredibly strong, a total mystery.”

Kaneki said nothing. He was numb. 

“It took a while, but they finally connected the dots between you and a missing persons case from a couple months back - a college student, last seen at a local coffee shop.” Hide chucked, but it was humorless, forced. “We went to the same university, you know. We didn't know each other, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Kaneki barely remembered his days at Kamii. They were so long ago, in a time so different it seemed imaginary. He hadn't known, hadn't ever seen Hide before, but perhaps he had always been there, simply waiting to be found. Kaneki’s chest throbbed. Suddenly, he was achingly, heartbreakingly, lonely.

“What if you were me? What if I got kidnapped and turned into a ghoul? What would I do? Who could I trust?” Hide continued. His voice become more steady. “I went to the coffee shop, Anteiku. You weren’t there. But I met Touka and the manager. They were kind.”

Kaneki jolted at the mention of Anteiku. Hide had been there? When? How could he have missed it? He found himself drifting toward Hide. They were face to face, but Hide’s eyes were tilted downward.

“I heard from the other investigators that the next big target was Anteiku and I didn’t know what to do. On one hand, I knew you would be there. I could finally see you with my own eyes. On the other, I would see you as an enemy.

"But that wasn't right. I wanted you to see me as an ally.” Hide finally met his eyes. Kaneki’s throat was dry. He hadn’t known anything of Hide’s struggle. All he had known was Anteiku, his family there, and his deep protectiveness of them. He wished he had met Hide earlier, in Kamii. Perhaps something would have changed. Perhaps he would’ve wanted to stay in the human world, instead of feeling like it wanted nothing to do with him. Kaneki reached up and clung to Hide’s shoulders.

“Hide-” Kaneki began. Hide cut him off.

“Wait.” Hide’s eyes were pleading. Kaneki swallowed his words. “I wasn’t supposed to join the battle but I had to see you. You haunted my thoughts for months, and I wasn’t about to miss the opportunity. You were hurt so badly.” Hide sighed once more. Kaneki shook his head. He knew what was coming and he didn't want to hear it. 

"Then I realized I could still save you, in the only way a human could. So I followed you down the sewer.” Hide’s eyes fluttered shut.

“All my life, I wanted more - that’s why I joined the CCG. The world is prowling with ghouls, and I’m supposed to study to be a lawyer? A teacher? An accountant? No way.” Hide shook his head and placed a hand over Kaneki’s. “I was meant to save you,” he said simply. Kaneki ducked his head.

“But I died Hide. I lost.” Kaneki felt a crushing disappointment twisted with thorny guilt. Hide gave away his life for Kaneki and Kaneki lost. Not only had he failed Anteiku, but he failed Hide. His soul felt like it could crumble at the slightest breath. “It was for nothing.” Kaneki trembled.

“Nah, man. What are you saying?” Hide huffed. “Look at where we are! We got a second chance!” Hide’s voice rang clear and true, a chiming bell echoing through the castle. Kaneki’s eyes widened. His hand almost slipped off of Hide’s shoulder, save for Hide’s securely fastened over his. “So defeat Arima once and for all, and let’s get the hell out of here!” Hide grinned, honestly this time, his eyes squinting from the force of it. Kaneki let himself bask in it. His eyes fluttered closed. His soul filled with sunlight. He would defeat the final gatekeeper and live. He would repay the debt he owed to Hide.

Kaneki pressed his forehead to Hide’s briefly, then stood to face Arima. His kagune branched out, rippling with energy. Arima adjusted his thin wire glasses.

“Ken Kaneki. By now you know that I am not Arima Kishou.” His voice was deep and halting. Kaneki blinked, cracking a knuckle.

“But you’re the gatekeeper. That’s all that matters.” Kaneki shifted his legs apart into a fighting stance. Arima didn’t move.

“This is true. But you will find I do not possess the strength nor the wits of Arima.” The gatekeeper reached a hand into the folds of his coat and whipped out a quinque, the same one that delivered the killing blow in the sewer. It was long and wickedly pointed at the end, like a javelin. Kaneki let this lips form a smirk.

“Well then, you’ll be even easier to kill,” Kaneki said and lunged forward.  The gatekeeper was slower than Arima by seconds - deadly seconds that gave Kaneki the advantage. He swooped low and shot his kagune high, deflecting the quinque easily and sweeping the gatekeeper’s legs. The gatekeeper stumbled back but remained upright, flipping the quinque point out and thrusting. It caught Kaneki’s side, tearing a bit of skin, nothing like the wound he faced before. Kaneki twisted and jumped, slamming his shin into Arima’s - the gatekeeper’s - head, knocking his glasses to the ground. The gatekeeper swung down with the kick but used the momentum to swerve, swinging the quinque wildly. Kaneki wrapped his kagune around it, finding it to be nothing but cool metal. He ripped it from the gatekeeper’s hands and smashed it into the castle’s walls, where it shattered to pieces. Kaneki suppressed a laugh. The gatekeeper was nothing, nothing like the reaper of the CCG.

Kaneki's kagune shot across the room, skewering the gatekeeper’s torso. He slammed into the wall, bones cracking. Blood streamed down to the floor, forming a puddle underneath the throne. Kaneki let his kagune do the work, stabbing into Arima’s stomach and tearing out bloody chunks, pulling him apart like a tender slab of beef. The gatekeeper grunted and groaned, barely fighting back, overwhelmed with agony. He was dead soon enough, a pile of flesh, bones, and blood, and crumbled to dust. Kaneki retracted his kagune in a flash and turned to Hide, who was staring open-mouthed.

“Let’s go,” Kaneki said, his voice flat. Hide grinned once more.

“Damn, dude.” Hide slapped Kaneki’s back. Kaneki didn’t respond. He had so much he wanted to say to Hide, but no idea where to begin. Instead, he stared openly, with so much intensity Hide began to squirm.

“Thank you, Hide,” Kaneki said finally. “For saving me. For watching over me.” His throat was closing. “I owe you everything.”

Hide's cheeks tinted the faintest pink. “You don't need to thank me." He turned away, but Kaneki followed, leaning close. 

“I like your freckles,” Kaneki confessed. “Even in the sewer, I noticed them.” He reached out to touch, but just as his finger made contact, Hide jerked away.

“Stop, you’re gross, get away from me.” Hide cringed in faux disgust. Kaneki chuckled faintly.

“Let’s go home, Hide.”

 

The thin, wire glasses lying on the ground were the only remnants of the gatekeeper. With a simple touch, Kaneki and Hide were transported back to the room they started in, with its high ceilings and smoky incense. The same figure was there, faceless, wrapped in black.

“Congratulations. You have passed through the three gates and earned your right to live once more.” The figure gave a single clap. “Please lie down and relax. You’ll be sent to your body immediately.”

Kaneki nodded, already making to sit down. Hide remained standing, a wistful look in his eye.

“I wonder what I’ll return to.” Hide said. Kaneki’s eyebrows pushed together in confusion, then he looked up at Hide in horror. Hide didn’t have a body to return to because Kaneki ate it. Kaneki whipped around to glare at the figure.

“Hide will have a body, right?” Kaneki said. The figure’s head jerked up.

“That one was not meant to embark on the trials. However, his soul clung to yours so tightly we could not separate the two.” The figure nodded. “Truly an anomaly.”

Kaneki turned to stare up at Hide once more.

“Kaneki. I lied to you again.” Hide scratched the back of his head, trying to smile, failing miserably. “I told you I met this guy, but it wasn’t the same as when you met him. I woke up in Rize’s swamp, half drowned in the muck. That thing,” he gestured toward the figure, “told me I was eternally damned, forced to be an attendant to the first gatekeeper, helping others complete their trial. Like that Touka impersonator.” Hide stared at the ceiling, struggling to say the words. 

“I sensed when you arrived. I couldn’t believe that you were dead, or that I would meet you again. I wanted to be with you. I thought, maybe, I could escape with you.” Hide sat on the ground next to Kaneki, who was speechless, once again shocked by what he did not know. “I guess I was wrong.”

Kaneki bristled, then stood up. He pointed one black-nailed finger at the figure.

“Hide went through the gates with me. He deserves to leave,” Kaneki growled. The figure turned its head toward him. Kaneki felt its shrouded eyes pierce into him.

“He doesn’t deserve anything. He stays here, to be an attendant.” The figure nodded slowly. Kaneki cracked a knuckle.

“No, he leaves with me.” He stepped up to the figure, so close he could inhale its ancient, rotten scent. “He doesn’t even deserve to be here.” The figure did not flinch.

“It is not up to you to decide who deserves to be here,” the figure said. If it had a face, it would be smirking. Kaneki snapped. He swung a fist forward, but it went right through the figure. Kaneki swore and tried a kick, but it did nothing. The figure let out a chilling laugh, like hollow bones clanging together.

“Kaneki,” Hide said. Kaneki ignored him. He grew desperate, kicking and punching and slicing with his kagune. But it did nothing. The figure was untouchable. “Kaneki,” Hide repeated, his voice steady.

“You’re going to be stuck here forever.” Kaneki clutched Hide’s forearm like he might disappear at any moment. "Don't you care?"

“That’s what I signed up for, though,” Hide said, with a sad smile. “I knew I would die. But you weren’t supposed to.”

“But-” Kaneki started. Hide didn’t deserve to be trapped here. If anything, Kaneki deserved it. He had eaten Hide. He was the one who took away his body, ruining any chance of returning to life.

“Just lay down,” Hide said, pushing down on Kaneki's shoulders. Kaneki stared at him, eyes immobile as stone. “I want you to live,” Hide’s eyes bored into Kaneki’s, determined. “That's all I ask.” Hide’s hands slid from Kaneki’s shoulders to the strong planes of his chest. "Live." His words seeped into Kaneki, honest and raw. 

Hide was there for him. He always had been, even if Kaneki hadn't known it. He had made the ultimate sacrifice, dying in order for Kaneki to live.

Kaneki knew how he would reply his debt. In fact, there was only one way. He would live out the life Hide gave him. He wouldn’t let it go to waste.

“Okay,” Kaneki whispered, his throat dusty and dry. His heart screamed in his chest. “Thank you, Hide.”

Kaneki’s head rested on the hard floor. Before his eyes shut, he glanced at Hide once more. Hide was so solemn, so melancholy, that Kaneki nearly changed his mind.

“Don’t forget about me, alright?” Hide said. His hands still rested on Kaneki’s chest.

“I won’t,” Kaneki replied, quiet but steady. Hide’s mouth pulled up into a crooked grin. Kaneki smiled back, peaceful. 

His eyes fluttered closed. 

\---

When they opened again, he was in a darkened cell in the depths of Cochlea. There was no sound except for the rapidly approaching clip of footsteps. Kaneki dimly wondered who it was.

\---

Kaneki had a new name - Haise Sasaki. He had no memory of his past life, or of his time in hell.

It would be a long time until he remembered Hide, and it would be in the very place he forgot everything: Cochlea. Kaneki was different, hair dark red, the color of blood. In front of him, Hinami lay defenseless, curled and weak. The memories flooded in all at once, soaking his soul. 

He stood trembling, Hide's name on his lips, and vowed never to forget again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really enjoyed writing this chapter!! all of the ideas i had finally got a chance to come out. i had a lot of fun writing kaneki's flashback, even though it was angst-y.  
> this is the last chapter!! i feel like everything got resolved well. i didn't originally intend for hide to stay behind, but then i realized that was the only way...usually i go for the happy ending but not this time.  
> once again, thanks for all the hits & kudos!! feel free to comment, i'd love to hear what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for your kudos! comment and let me know what you thought!


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